Since the invention of locomotion in the early 1800s, the dream to explore new horizons was born, people that had never left their villages and communities could finally explore the rest of the world. As the technology evolved, going anywhere in the world was no longer fiction but a reality. Whether travelling by plane, by train, by boat or by car - the adventures began. As the borders opened worldwide, a great number of people decided to travel and discover what other opportunities the rest of the world had to offer - I guess that’s where the saying comes from: “the world is your oyster”. Travelling the world is an opportunity to grab with both hands. You’ll explore new cultures, learn new languages, eat food you’ve never tasted before and converse with strangers from other parts of the world - I believe everyone should experience travelling!
Our birth place is part of us, it is deeply coded into our mind as the root of all beginnings. The people who surrounded us in our early years, friends and family, shaped who we are today. We are all the product of our environment. As we get older we create strong bonds with the people around us, usually made of ‘unconditional love’. We are in our comfort zone; and we are familiar with our surroundings and our own little tribe. We have developed habits and rituals that make up our everyday life.
For the few that find the courage to leave their comfort zone; they are embarking a great journey! A journey that will change them forever. Many will extend their stay and live in their new country which feels like a daring adventure. I’d like to compare it to ‘Alice in wonderland’, everything is new and different, the mind is overwhelmed, and the thirst for discoveries and life experiences is finally fulfilled. The first few years are exciting, making new friends, learning a new language, eating and drinking like the locals, working and living abroad is finally happening.
As the years go by, the feeling of missing ‘home’ makes you rethink your commitment. Your childhood friends have moved on; long-distance communication is getting one sided, and the visits are few, and far between. In truth you left their habitat, life kept going back at home but you weren't there. You have missed a lot and sadly some bonds have dissolved. Despite the extra effort to stay in touch, your friends and family don’t think of you as often as you’d like. Yet, they are still a part of your story and you love them dearly. The friends that you have made in your new country understand and love you but it’s different, they know only a small part of your story.
Regardless of the amount of years you’ve lived in your new country, you’ll always be asked the same question - where are you from? Your accent gives you away. The question is a constant reminder that you are not from here, and as the feeling of missing home gets stronger you’ll seek anything that reminds you of home: your favourite food, smells, music or movies - they will all sooth you at times. I drag my partner to every Moroccan, Spanish and French restaurant in town!
The reason behind all of this is the hybrid you’ve become, you are from No-where-land. You are between two cultures (for my part three), and moving back seems crazy too as you no longer have the same life perspective as the people you grow up with. But, you are also very different from the people in your new country. I have struggled the most with British conservative ways and the drinking culture. I love being with people but I personally don’t believe you need to get drunk to socialise, a delicious meal with a handful of good friends is very special to me, even better going for an experience all together is priceless.
Another factor that doesn't help is the constant grey and wet weather, it is so tough when you are from a warm part of the world, and grew up with seasons! I’m someone who’s very warm and tactile, the British like calling me crazy but I’m just naturally high on life and I need the sun!
If you are a mix of cultures and experiences, it will explain the void inside you, no matter where you live. Many people who have decided to experience life away from their birth country often return home eventually. Others fight the fears, the pain and the loss, and they find peace in their mind accepting the sacrifices that moving abroad brings. I have lived this experience too many times, and all of my friends have returned home - I miss them so much!
If you have moved abroad and miss your friends and family, it is absolutely normal. Yes! They could call a little more, write a little more, even visit once in a while, but they must be forgiven as we all too often focus on only what’s just in front of us. It’s the same for your friends and family that stayed back at home, they miss you but they had to fill the hole you left in their lives. Some might have been angry that you left, others didn’t understand your decision, and the rest maybe thought that it’s your loss, not theirs. The truth is, you just tried your luck somewhere else - and why not? We’re not trees after all!
You must make time, even if you have ‘convinced’ yourself that you never have time. Exchange a few words, ask if people are okay, and send them a little smile once in a while. Many people are worth holding on tightly to, while others are just part of a chapter in our lives, it may hurt to let go but sometimes it hurts more to hang on.
Visit your home country as often as possible, at least once a year. You’ll miss home less by planning your visits and you’ll look forward to great catch ups with friends and family. You are a citizen of the world and we have no frontiers, but always remember that having loving people in our lives is a solid foundation that helps us thrive. I may go back home one day, or maybe move to another part of the world. Or maybe I’ll visit more often to heal the home sickness. I’m just not sure what the future holds. I’m grateful to my other half for his patience, and support as sometimes I can’t hold back the tears, his love is truly unconditional.
A special thank you to all my friends back home that have remained in contact, and to the ones that I have met on my journey. Despite the many seas that separate us, you are still present and I feel your love. I have left my ‘douce France’ over 10 years ago, lived in different places and different countries, met wonderful souls and experienced so much, no books or films could have given me this experience, so thank you WORLD for allowing me around the globe.
I dedicate this post to you my friends for keeping me in your heart. Love, Always. - Ma douce France, je t’aime, je t'aimais et je t’aimerais. Je vous aimes les copains. -
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