So many of our fears and limitations were passed onto us by our parents and the life path they set us on. We all have those moments from our past that are very vivid, moments where our first fears were born and marked us forever. Unfortunately, these fears are still influencing our lives today and limiting us from achieving our full potential.
“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”
- Oprah Winfrey -
- Oprah Winfrey -
It doesn't matter what type of life you were born with, or how you were brought up. The key is to keep only the positive from your upbringing such as love, a keen sense of self-worth and anything else that makes your life better and happier. Remove any limitations and negativities from your mind, you can rewrite your approach to life - It is what I did!
I have encountered so many people who were filled with fear and limitations from their childhood. They were unable to assess their situation and treat the source of their anxiety; they hadn’t realised their fear is derived from a past event or conflict. When a parent leaves home it is common to develop a fear of abandonment and guilt; if you were continuously told that you were not good enough you could have easily developed low-self-esteem; or if you were bullied at school for being different, you can easily develop a fear of rejection. Where you lack love from your parents it can be difficult to love and respect yourself. I had so many fears from my childhood and my parents, but I knew that one day I would overcome them all and succeed.
“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and
the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic
of psychological trauma.”
- Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery -
“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and
the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic
of psychological trauma.”
- Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery -
Whatever your upbringing, nurture your inner-child and accept the traumatic experiences from your childhood. If there were many negative experiences, try to cast your mind back and assure your younger-self that you are capable of so much. If you lacked care and love, go back and give yourself the love, it is so important for your survival. If you were told that you were not good enough to succeed, go back and tell yourself anything is possible, you are as worthy of success as anyone else. Go back to your traumatic experiences and heal your wounds, once you've healed your inner child you will unleash an incredible power within you. You'll have the confidence and love you need to move forward. You'll understand your fears and where they came from so you can stand up to them or let them go.
I come from a limited family; both of my parents were immigrants from North Africa who were born into farming families and unfortunately both illiterate. Their childhoods were characterised by poverty and religion.
My siblings and I were raised in France on social benefits and sadly my father left home in my early teens. Being poor and uneducated is a big handicap to enjoyment of life, but if your home becomes an unhappy place then your childhood can really become traumatic. Thankfully, I had amazing friends that I spend most of my time with, they and their families showed me the value of respect and love.
“If your body is screaming in pain, whether the pain is muscular contractions, anxiety, depression, asthma or arthritis, a first step in releasing the pain may be making the connection between your body pain and the cause. “Beliefs are physical. A thought held long enough and repeated enough becomes a belief. The belief then becomes biology.” - Marilyn Van Derbur -
My parents did have an opportunity to learn how to read and write, so they could have chosen a better life for themselves and their children. However, they decided otherwise, so I ended up assiting them a lot as I was the oldest. I didn’t know that by helping them with their inability to read and write, I would keep them limited and in the process limit myself.
I have been rebelling against my fears and limitations for a long time now, and I have come a long way. The life I have built for myself is amazing, I’m endlessly growing and I have let go of so much negativity with the remaining still a work in progress. Most of the limited thinking imposed on me when I was a child has gone and I have no doubt the rest will go in time.Years of mental confinement, the absence of love and emotional support can be damaging to your self-esteem. It is important to bounce back and kiss goodbye to your negative past and open your mind to the possibilities of a blissful future. I used to wish for a different upbringing but not anymore because without this limited start I wouldn’t have become the person I am today - a free thinker with irrepressible ambition to succeed.
