PARENT'S BLESSING: Why seek approval?

We only end up hurting if we don't get it as we know we have failed to meet their expectations.Do we need to please our parents and follow their ways? I don’t believe so. We are individuals not clones with our own aspirations. Some parents heavily influence their children to follow their path; in an odd way they push them toward their unachieved dreams, their religious beliefs, and their way of life.

Of course, parents will have a certain way of living which their children will have to accept. They'll have do as they're told, but only until they're old enough to make their own choices and chase their own dreams.

I believe that parents should raise their kids with unconditional love and with discipline, but also encourage their independence and freewill to become whomever they want to be.

I once met an intelligent and beautiful girl at a model agency.

I asked her: “Where are you from? She said: “From Puerto Rico”. I was amazed that she came from somewhere so far away. I asked her if she was a model back home. She answered: ”No, I was a pilot”. I was gob smacked! I asked: "What are you doing here in London?" She replied: “I’m here on a student visa to get away from my dad and make my dream come true. I never wanted to become a pilot, that was my dad’s dream. I want to be a model, I'm passionate about fashion.”

We all know people who are living their lives in a certain way to keep their parents or others happy. They feel like it's their duty, an obligation towards them and they're willing to sacrifice some of their own freedom to please them. That’s a personal choice and no one should be judged for it. However, many suffer the consequences. Their heart divorces their mind and they become unhappy as they aren't living the life they desire.

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair." - Mitch Albom -

The lack of support or love from your parents will hurt but that’s only a problem if you choose to let the pain take over. Time will heal your wounds. Do you really need their blessing to breathe air? Do you need their approval to choose who you love? Do you need them to hold your hand for your first day at work? No! So why is it any different to choose the life you want?

It is heart breaking when a parent disapproves of your choices, rejecting the life you have chosen or sometimes showing disapproval through disinterest. I kind of understand their perspective though. They think they know what is best for you and want to protect you from the bad choices they made. They forget that we all have different values and different ambitions, so we all need to follow our own path. I don’t think this makes them bad parents, just afraid of the unknown with little faith in what is possible.

"Lucky parents who have fine children usually have lucky children who have fine parents." - James A. Brewer -

It isn’t our job to fulfil our parent’s unfinished dreams or live the life they have chosen for us, but we do have a duty towards ourselves to fulfil our own destiny. 

Some kids are happy to take over the family business or follow the same profession as their parents because it's a family tradition and other kids want something different. It's the same with spiritual, political and religious beliefs, some will keep them going and others will make their own choices.

If you are a parent, don't be disappointed if your son or daughter has chosen to live free and be their own person. Most kids are grateful to their parents for the clothes on their backs, the food on the table, and the roof over their head. Mostly they are grateful for the chance to live and this can only be repaid by love. Be proud of your kids and love them, accept their choices and passions, they want your love and acceptance more than anything, but they will find a way to live without it if this is not the case.

Parents have the gift to heal the world, by teaching unconditional love to the next generation SO OUR FUTURE CAN BE BRIGHTER.

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