Imagine all your senses on full alert 24/7, including your sixth sense ‘intuition’, in this loud and at times insensitive world.
What it feels like?
The man behind you is chewing gum. It’s deeply vexing and you’re praying for the queue to go faster. You’re at the library and once settled, you begin to feel what others are feeling. It’s becoming tense, you need to find a quieter space to gain your balance again. The bathroom fan, two floors down is driving you nuts. To you, it’s right inside your ear, frustratingly loud, you can’t focus on anything. The tiny label inside your tee-shirt is irritating your skin, like two wasps having a rave on your sensitive birthday suit. That label needs to come off - now! The sound of your partner chewing food at the dinner table makes you angry, the noise is just too much for your mind to process and you need to get away. The woman’s perfume next to you on the plane is overpowering, it makes you feel nauseous, the chemicals hold your nostrils hostage, so you cover your face and hold your breath. Your good friend broke her promise and it hurts so much, you’re disappointed. For many it’s no big deal but for you it’s like your heart has been ripped out, it’s beyond upsetting. You’re at your work summer party, and suddenly you feel like you’re gasping for air, it’s too noisy, crowded, loud, you need to escape. These are the stories of many people on Earth, we call them Highly Sensitive People.
“Highly sensitive people tend to have stronger emotional responses than others.”
- Andre Sólo -
Who are they?
Between 15% to 20% of people are highly sensitive, very attuned to the people around them and their environment. They feel immensely, all of the time. For them sadness is sorrow and joy is pure bliss. Some are more sensitive than others, but nevertheless to feel intensely is a blessing and a curse if badly managed. 30% of them are extrovert, which makes it even more challenging when you love being around people. Imagine being allergic to music but loving a good party, antihistamine just won’t cut it! It’s important to know that HSPs qualify as empaths too, they feel the emotions of others just like empaths. Being highly sensitive involves being deeply connected to everything around you through all of your senses, it’s not just being emotional.
A highly sensitive person can be of either sex, it’s pretty much 50/50. Tougher on men though, as we’re heavily conditioned to believe that men don’t cry - women cry, but not men! What a pile of hogwash, you can be strong and still let a few tears out to release the pressure eating you up inside!
“Have a good cry, wash out your heart, if you keep it inside
it'll tear you apart”
HSPs have so many gifts, they don’t just connect deeply with others but with nature and animals too. They’re precious, and they’re sensitive for a reason. Their mind is intense, making it tough to switch off. It’s like they’re tuned into some divine radio station 24/7. Their sleep patterns can be disturbed, as even at night their sensitivity is active. They over analyse everything, and can be easily overstimulated, or under stimulated. They cannot stand the violence on TV and the news is a strong NO! It’s too much for them to process that amount of negativity. They have an amazing intuition, some have psychic ability, and they connect on a much higher level with other people, to the point that they can sense information or intentions about a person. It’s possible they connect to the mysterious pool of consciousness where all our thoughts are amassed. Other people’s moods affect them, so they need to withdraw during busy days, somewhere private to recharge. Bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics and sirens can be too much for their sensory receptors (as described in the examples at the beginning). The arts or music deeply move them. When they sense that someone is uncomfortable in their proximity, the HSP will tend to know what to do to make it better. The feeling of being very hungry creates a strong reaction in them, at times disturbing their concentration and mood. But, who doesn’t get a little grouchy when they’re hungry? However, for HSPs it’s on another level! It’s the same if they’re sleep deprived.
Distinction between highly sensitive & hypersensitive.
It is important to understand the difference between hypersensitivity and highly sensitive. Hypersensitivity means being emotionally fragile. Highly sensitive is a genetic trait that has little to do with emotional toughness. High sensitivity means you’re very perceptive, conscientious, easily overstimulated or under stimulated, and empathic. So, every time an HSP is told that they’re too sensitive it’s like telling someone with green eyes, - “Your eyes are too green”-.
Relationships with HSPs.
These souls truly value deep relationships, they generally cannot entertain an oil-water relationship, superficial and instable, they’ll get bored quickly and move on. They want to dive deeply into your soul, and connect with you in a profound way. Let them, it’s pure magic for them. Sadly, they have to kiss many frogs before finding people who can equal their love and values. That’s why they’re quite selective about who they let into their lives. As much as it can be intense to be in relationship with an HSP, from friendship to being in love, they’ll do almost anything for you and their loyalty and commitment are immeasurable. Having said that, if you have earned their trust don’t abuse it. But if you awaken their inner fury, ladies and gentlemen, prepare the chocolate, and as you throw it at them - run for cover! As humans, we all have duality, so the deeper we feel love, the deeper we feel pain. Don’t mistake their kindness for weakness. They aren’t weak, they’re sensitive! The most likely hood is if a sensitive person is having a reaction which may come across as overdramatic, help them gain balance by talking to them and bring them back to the present moment, or if they’re having an intense emotional reaction, hug them! HSPs have work to do on themselves before they fully gain control of their gift, so have a little patience if you know one!
“Everything I experience hits me deep, raw, and intense. As an empath, I feel the energy of myself and others. As I age, this ability only grows deeper and stranger.” - Sylvester McNutt III -
HSPs and toxic people.
An HSP will often say ‘sorry’ first, if they think they have hurt someone. They believe all people are good at heart, and they do their best to see the best in everyone. This is why they’re magnets for attracting toxic people. Toxic people will see their sensitivity as an opportunity. A highly sensitive person will often feel overpowered by a controlling person, they prefer not to offend or worse, face confrontation. So, they let it be, easier said than done, as sometimes they will need to find courage to stand up for themselves.
For a sensitive person, it’s unacceptable to hurt someone and not apologise, or at least acknowledge the other person’s feelings. How can toxic people behave as they wish without thinking about the impact of their actions and words? This type of behaviour doesn’t equal with an HSPs’ values. If a sensitive approaches a toxic people, they must do it with great care, if possible avoiding the person or keeping their distance as these people usually display narcissistic, sociopathic and psychopathic behaviour. If a highly sensitive person gets too close, they’re setting themselves up for potential hurt, just like a beautiful butterfly in the hands of a malicious person.
HSPs in our culture.
As much as it’s demanding to be so sensitive in a brutal world, HSPs are majestic empaths. With an incredible ability to connect with people at the drop of a hat, they know what to say to start a conversation and make a connection. They have great intuition, and if they rely on it, they usually make better choices than others in life. Sadly, they’re often seen as too sensitive, feeble, or intense. Many of them are told: ‘toughen up’, ‘grow a thick skin’, or the most common one ‘you’re too emotional’. Believe me when I say they’re plenty tough, experiencing the world we live in with all your senses at full power demands a lot of courage to keep going. That’s why so many struggles to cope. They turn to recreational drugs, smoking, pharmaceutical drugs, and addictions of every kind. When the feeling of a heartbreak is amplified, or the accumulation of negative energy has reached their limit, without the right tools to deal with those feelings, they’ll likely reach for the wrong things to survive, or worst, make a rash decision to end their internal agony.
Although being sensitive is often seen as a disadvantage in our culture, to feel intensely is not a symptom of being flawed - it’s the essence of a truly thriving and compassionate human being. It’s not HSPs who are broken, it’s society’s understanding that has become dysfunctional and emotionally weakened. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are sometimes described as being ‘too emotional’ are the life-force keeping the dream alive for a more kind, sympathetic and humane world.
“If you are an HSP, you’re a champion in the making, you have what it takes. Make sure to meditate daily. Ask for professional help. Find a method to manage your feelings in order to find balance, body & soul. Wear black tourmaline jewellery to protect you from negative energy. Surround yourself with positive and joyful people. Keep going no matter what. Day by day, you will find what works for you.”
YOUR FEELINGS ARE SUPERPOWERS. EMBRACE THEM!
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