HONESTY

Being honest is the only way to be. However, in our time so many people feel the need to massage the truth to get out of difficult situations or make themselves more interesting. 

Why not make truth a reliable constant? I believe the problem lies in our nurture and the influence we have on each other. If we have been influenced by irresponsible people who lied their way through life, instinctively we will behave in the same way and believe it is normal to lie. Sometimes lying is motivated by fear, a fear of judgment or conflict, and sometimes lying seems to be the best option rather than saying things as they are. 

 “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” - Mark Twain -

Honesty is a great quality and an essential quality for an ethical person. However, there are times when silence should eclipse honesty. We’ve all been in a situation where we would rather avoid telling the truth to a friend, family or co-worker to avoid drama or hurting someone’s feelings. I believe there is no need to lie, either find a way to express the truth compassionately, or keep silent and remove yourself from the conversation. You can always take time to consider your thoughts and emotions and you will often get another opportunity to express what you want to say. Silence is often the wisest move and can speak much louder than words.

“I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.” - H. L. Mencken -

To be truly honest we must first be honest with ourselves. Often we hide from our own reality - so how then can we project our true-self to others? Being confident and at peace with who we are and our life experience is essential to be genuine. 

“Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.” - Dennis Prager –

You are responsible for your own truthfulness, but how others respond to it is out of your control. If you feel like you have to lie to someone then that person doesn’t know who you are and you don’t really value them. The act of lying is often justified by the fear of their reaction. When you are valued, loved and respected, the person will not only appreciate your honesty but also your loyalty. Everyone has lied and it never feels right… because in reality we are lying to ourselves about who we are, how we are perceived and the importance of truth. Continual dishonesty has a huge impact on our self-image, confidence and relationships with other people.

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates.  At the first gate, ask yourself, ‘Is it true?’ At the second ask, ‘Is it necessary?’At the third gate ask ‘Is it kind? ~ Sufi Saying.

Being dishonest has consequences, some minor and others quite serious. You are responsible for what comes out of your mouth so if you can measure your words, the action of wisdom will be reflected in your life so assess the situation, think and then act. If your words have passed these three gates then the consequences of speaking the truth will be worth it.

BEING HONEST, YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOURSELF EVERYDAY.

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