HAVE COURAGE & BE KIND

We were born onto this earth, most of us to families; some loving and kind, others broken and unhappy.  We were sent to school to learn to read and count but really they were exam factories, leaving us unprepared for the real difficulties that life has in store for us.  We were taught that we need to work hard for our money and that without it we are nothing, so our existence depends on a man-made tool with immense power to control us. We were given a name, a religion and a nationality that are supposed to define us - an identity that divides us with borders and limitations, we must follow these rules or face the consequences, accept without question the knowledge and wisdom of the past generations.  

But in all this, no one tells us how to heal our internal wounds, or how to face our fears. They don’t tell us how to stay strong when hard times come, how to accept the cards life dealt us at birth, how to fight negativity and turn our mind into our best ally. Material things can’t heal you, money doesn’t love, and work isn’t family. We are all human and our true identity is LOVE.

To those of you fighting a personal battle of any kind, keep strong and be brave:

To the unwell; your body and mind want to give up, and you are no longer able to take the stress and the torment. You are wrapped in your worst nightmare, but you’re not ready to let go of this precious gift called life. You must fight, you should know that you have what it takes to heal and keep going because your mind is incredibly powerful. Be the hero of your story, mark history with your strength and courage. 

“Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.” 

- Hippocrates -

To the brave fighting depression; know that your mind is telling you lies about your situation. It tells you that you’re not worthy, that you don’t have what it takes, or that it’s too hard, so what’s the point in keeping going? Your passion and your will to live are fading quickly and you want to run away as far as possible hoping it will go away, but deep down you know that isn’t the answer. You’re not sure how long this will last but you’ll find the strength to survive, nothing is forever not even depression. Have faith in yourself, keep your light shining, your life is so worth living, no matter who you are - day by day, step by step, you will get through this.

“Depression is the inability to construct a future.”  - Rollo May -

To all the wonderful women; being a mother, a wife, a friend, a business woman, a sex goddess, a smart cookie and so much more. Trying to keep yourself sane, crying in secret to unload the burden weighing on your heart, doing your best to wear all of your hats at once. Try not to forget yourself, summon your internal warrior goddess, be strong, kind, loving and shine with confidence. Your happiness is important despite the priorities of people depending on you. You can do it all, just one thing at a time. You are built with all the necessary light and love, go deep within and find it!

“A beautiful woman delights the eye; a wise woman, the understanding; a pure one, the soul.” - Minna Antrim -

To all the reborn - starting over; it could be a new career, a new country, a new beginning, or just getting out of your comfort zone. Chasing your dreams can be painful - it’s painful to look around and see the success of others, and it’s painful to keep faith when you don’t seem to be making any progress. You know better than anyone that nothing grows unless you’re uncomfortable, everything will stay the same, and the days will pass by. But, change is a constant, so make the change on your terms, and when life knocks you over - keep hope, keep fighting, for every fall always remember to stand back up.

“There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk.” - Jean-Paul Sartre - 

To the broken hearted; the ache, the hollowness and the realisation that it has actually happened. The pain comes and goes, pinching your heart, but you keep on going. You wake up every day and deal with the inner torment, slowly leaving bits of it behind as you move on. We‘re all responsible for our actions in life no matter if we meant it or not, we have a degree of responsibility, but we must have faith and let time work it’s magic, your heart will heal soon. As one door closes another one always opens.

“Yet it is only love which sets us free.” - Maya Angelou -

To the eccentric or the odd one; you may be different from others, from ‘regular people’ and they may make you feel awkward. You want to be like everyone but your uniqueness is stronger, people you know and even those that you don’t can see you are true to yourself but you still feel like an alien. Extravert or introvert, love yourself, you are born an original why die a copy? It is your right to shine, you are made of stardust after all, and stars shine bright in the heavens for billions of years, so shine bright and teach people how to be true to themselves.

“I gave up my struggle with perfection a long time ago. That is a concept I don't find very interesting anymore. Everyone just wants to look good in the photographs. I think that is where some of the pressure comes from. Be happy. Be yourself, the day is about a lot more.” - Anne Hathaway -

To you super(men); our modern society is harsh and the demands on you are higher, earn money, be a protector, be successful, keep cool, be understanding, and be ready to save the day. The expectations are never ending. How can you be Prince Charming and Superman at the same time. So, take care of yourself, keep your mind sane and do the best you can, you are not perfect despite the weight of expectation from your surroundings. You also have dreams and being tough all the time will come at a price. You don’t have to be a superhero, just a good human being who will help lift our world, be there for yourself, your families but most importantly be a true gentlemen.

My theory is that men are no more liberated than women. 

- Indira Gandhi -

To all of us, the fighters, the strugglers, the champions, the eccentrics, the superheroes - keep on going! It is our purpose, pain is part of life and as much as we all wish we didn’t experience it, we wouldn’t be able to grow without it. I believe to reach enlightenment a great amount of pain and discomfort must be experienced, we must learn from life’s lessons and accept our difficult pasts - everyone has a unique story to tell. We need to master how to rise above negativity and not let pain make us bitter and unkind. It is our purpose to leave something behind worth passing onto the next generation. I don’t believe that pain will ever be easy to endure but we can change how we perceive it and learn how to help one another, we are not our feelings, we just experience them. Choose to rise above the pain and reach a higher frequency of love and happiness.

YOUR LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS, JUST KEEP ON LIVING IT!

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INDIA THROUGH THE EYES OF ANON - "Guest post by ANON"

"One can become a strange mixture of East and West, out of place everywhere, at home nowhere; or being still oneself, one can learn to find oneself ‘in place’ anywhere and ‘at home’ everywhere, in the profoundest sense a citizen of the world". - A.K Coomaraswamy. -

I recently returned from a three month trip in India. As an Indian brought up in England, I have always been encouraged to have a voice, to have a career of my own and to be my own person. So for me, when I go back to India and see the life that women have to subscribe to, I can’t help thinking how different their life and choices are. Perhaps the word I am looking for is limited. And so I am going to illustrate this point with two examples of real-life situations. 

The first example involves a young lady. Let us call her Anjali. Anjali is a bright, articulate young lady. She has had all the privileges of a middle class upbringing in India and even completed her Masters degree overseas in Australia. She can speak at least three languages fluently and her spoken English is so clear and grammatically correct, one hardly notices her Indian accent.

Now Anjali is quite capable of working and is encouraged to work in professions such as IT or the family business. At home, Anjali excels in many hobbies which she loves such as needlework, classical music or dance.

She is in fact an all-rounder. She loves her fashion, she’s constantly on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram and has a “real joie de vivre”. Of course Anjali is free to socialise and go out, go to movies, have dinner with friends but it is very unusual for her to go out on her own, and one would certainly never see Anjali hanging out with a boy. (I am not saying people in India don’t date, of course they do, but lets’ say they do it in a more discrete manner. For example, you very rarely see couples holding hands – the beach may be the only exception where this is seen – you certainly don’t see people kissing in public and in a nightclub it is highly unlikely that you would get some drunken, sweaty-faced guy who grabs you on the dance floor and lunges at you in the hope that your lips might lock!).

As Anjali approaches her mid to late 20s, she knows it will soon be time for her to get married. Her husband to-be is chosen by a word-of-mouth, a carefully researched, pre-selection process by her parents and extended family.

Anjali may be told she has the final say but the reality is that the pre-chosen match is the husband for her. And then comes the marriage. In some cases, the husband may be happy for her to continue working but in other cases, the husband may expect her to give up work, which Anjali will have to comply with, if the marriage is to be successful. And then the young married couple are very much expected to have a child within the first year of marriage – I know this for a fact because from my cousins who have all been married in the last ten years or so, contraception is not advised and in some cases forbidden. So what, I ask myself is the point in giving Indian girls a decent education, sending them abroad for further studies, only to encourage them and subscribe them to a marriage where they are taught to accept that the husband’s choice, his say: to accept that he is King? What happened to the Queen? The second example involves a young woman, which we will call Suetha. So Suetha got married to a very handsome, professional young man. Yes, her parents had chosen him as a suitable partner for her: all was good. They had three beautiful children together. All was going well. Suetha was absolutely devoted to her husband and family. They lived in a fabulous house, had lots of friends and generally were very happy together. 

But then after 20 years of marriage, her husband had an affair. This affair went on for many years. Suetha felt helpless. She could not really divorce him, because her main concern, living in a traditional Indian society, was that she wanted to get her children married and well settled in good families and she knew she would not be able to do that if she was a divorcee: it would reflect badly on her and on her family. In essence, her standing in the community would be tarnished. 

So Suetha decided to take no action and waited in the hope that her husband would ‘return’ to her. The husband in the meanwhile, became so brazen about the affair that he actually moved out of home, bought a new house with the mistress, who by the way, knew he was married with three children, and essentially lived with her as man and wife for about five years. The husband told his wife that the mistress ‘brought light into his life’.

Suetha decided to speak to her in-laws, in the hope that he could be persuaded to see sense and return home. Suetha was told by her father-in-law that her husband, his son, could do as he pleased. Suetha was expected to put-up and shut-up. Eventually, after some more ‘talking’ between the in-laws, the husband and Suetha, the husband did eventually decide to return home. He realised he missed his wife and children and ‘could not live without them’. However, before he returned home, Suetha was made to ask her parents-in-laws for forgiveness! Quite remarkable! For the sake of her children, Suetha did this. 

The family are now back together. It has not been a straightforward journey but they are a family once again, living under the same roof. It is not for me to comment on whether Suetha was right or wrong in her course of action. But what I do want to say is that the in-laws are the most hypocritical people on the planet. It seems that Indian society always blames the woman for a failing marriage. Period.

So, while the rest of the Western world is demanding that women should have equal pay in the workplace. I say that in India, women should have EQUAL place in the home and in a marriage.

ANON.


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